Why

I'm still spending time with the boy but he is also still spending time with her. So what do I do now? If I moan, he'll pull away from me which is not what I want. But if I don't say anything at all, he'll never understand exactly how much he's hurting me. It hurts less now than say, 6 months ago but will I eventually be numb to it all? I can't decide if thats what I want to feel. But when he and I are together, things are so good. I know he lies about me to her i.e when I'm there or if I stay over and to be honest it feels like we're having an affair! Everything about me is a secret. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I can't decide.

Can anyone really answer that? I don't think my ex (whom I'm still sleeping with) is. But he does bad things, thats for sure. I mean, seriously! Why is it ok for the person who cheated to be able to do something like that and walk away unscathed? And why do we always hate the person who helped your partner cheat more than we hate the partner? Is that because it's easier to hate someone you don't know/haven't met? Or because you love the person who hurt you so much, you actually can't hate them? I think my problem is a mix of the two. See, I knew the girl who slept with my boy. Not very well, but enough. I'd heard stories about her, from people I worked with who knew her and what she was like. But I never dreamed the boy would ever do that to me. Especially not with someone like her. She was everything he (told me he) hated in a woman. Took drugs, slept around. Bear in mind, the boy and I had been together for 5 and a half years so it's not as if I didn't really know him. Now, I never actually liked her anyway, but now I have good reason to hate her guts. But I can't hate him. Why not???